On what Goldilocks may have forgotten

None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.(Prophet Muhammad pbuh, sometime after he turned forty)

 
I've been thinking a lot about how to start this entry but for some reason my imaginative and constantly drama seeking mind doesn't seem to work that well today.

I figured that maybe I should just write, with or without a melodramatic and poetic narrative opening, especially since I'm not currently occupied with academics (though my little heart knows I should be).

Several days ago I had a long chat with a person whom I am extremely fond of. One of the inspirations for this blog. We talked about lots of things. Our lives, the start of the new year, how last year was, how we hope this year will go and even some deeply emotional, challenging events and experiences that even though separate for both of us, the understandings towards them is quite similar. In the midst of the conversation, rather accidentally I suppose, we came to the topic I'm writing about this time.

Mind you this is not an entry to praise anyone in particular, just that I feel the need to share this somewhat common concept with everyone. At the end of this entry, you may well just leave with  "Owh, I didn't know it had a name !" but I certainly hope that we can all learn a lesson from it.      

Have you ever felt, that other people are not fair towards you? That you try hard to accommodate to everyone else while others don't really seem to take that much of an effort to return your generosity? That you laugh rather unnecessarily loudly at a lame joke your otherwise quite friend had just told, or you clean up the dishes after a friend 'forgot' to clean up theirs, that you took time to cook a nice bowl of rice porridge for your friend who was down with fever, that you fold your friend's laundry after you've picked them up just before it started to pour, that you prepare a huge surprise birthday party for a fellow friend...even though it  seems that no one else really bothered to do the same for you?

I believe, that you, dear reader, probably have felt that way before. If not a little, a lot of times. And you probably have, at any time of your life undertook some great endeavor to please someone even when you knew, somewhere deep in your heart, that your efforts may not be returned to you the way that you would have liked it. You stay positive though, because it keeps you going.

You try your best for the other person because if that 'other' is you, you would have loved what you have done for yourself. (Haha this is so confusing). Its not that you actually expect anything in return (although I must admit, it would be nice), but you just feel that if you are on the receiving end, you would really like it.

If this is the case, you probably believe in and clutch tightly onto the Golden Rule. An ethical code that in principle demands that you do unto others what you would like to be done to yourself.

The Golden Rule is as you might expect, contained or assimilated into many religions and philosophical creeds since a very very long time ago. I think it is simply because us humans, in nature, choose not to hurt others. That our essence, as human beings is to submit to the command of God, that is to love others and be good to them.

The Golden Rule is really a manifestation of great empathy and understanding of others and yourself. And also about yourself willing to take the extra effort to make sure at least someone (if not both of you) is happy with what you do for them. And this would apply greatly to all aspects of our lives. Example being,
- you smile at the cash register lady and ask them how their day is going when you see them bagging your groceries in sadness because you would like someone to ask you about how you are when you display signs of sadness
-  listening to a person's problem although its long winded and cracked up because you know how comforting the occasional nods and 'hmms' of someone listening to yours are. And sharing your problems with them too, to reciprocate the understanding that its okay to be vulnerable and trust someone with your problems. 
-  waking someone up with relentless gentle nudges because you hate to be woken up harshly and you would hate it if someone didn't wake you up at all
- teaching a person something to your best of efforts and knowledge, because you yourself would like to learn only from the best (refer to a previous entry for this)
- buying a present for a friend that you would really like for yourself
and I'm sure that you clever readers know a lot more examples to the Golden Rule. You probably practice it every day.

This concept really is not a matter of impossible empathy and ridiculous self sacrifice, and thus it is hugely disappointing to see that less and less people are practicing it nowadays. I mean, just walk around in a huge city or better yet, drive around a huge city and you'll see what I mean.

The thing is, people seem to think that surviving involves only the safety of themselves personally, that the wants of others can be sacrificed just as long as what they themselves desire is cleared and safe. And its a sad thing really, because if they survive by themselves, what will they survive to? Who, will they survive to? Wouldn't it be better if everyone sacrificed a bit of themselves so that everyone survives? It's really like Goldilocks and the three bears. Goldilocks uses up everything she can, neglecting the owners of the beds and the porridge and finally Goldilocks literally wakes up to being the main course meal for the bears (well I'm sure this is not the real version, but I have always thought of it that way after I first read the story). 

So I, herein invite everyone of us to practice the Golden Rule to our best of efforts. Because from my point of view, it is contentment in itself to see those smiling faces. And as I've said before (in a previous entry), no one else, save your Lord and you, may know about it, but I believe that is always good enough.

I'm sure this has been, an "of course...that's obvious man ! what are you writing about? are you expecting people to say that you are wise just because you're stating the obvious?" read for you, dear reader. However I believe that constant reminding of ourselves about these obvious things is indeed necessary because us, being humans tend to always neglect the more obvious and readily available things in life. We tend to prefer looking for and remembering the more queer and rarer things.

I mean, why choose chocolate ice cream when the flavour of the week is available only during this week... right?

Peace
Azfar