On who God would run to

The concept of secrets is a delusional one.

That's a facebook status that I uploaded several weeks ago (it seems). To the successful and highly celebrated 'like's of 2 people. Awesome.(I think I need to think of better ways to articulate my facebook status messages, I often grow envious towards a cousin of mine who seems to always have witty and deep things to say about anything, may it only be about the cat napping in the house.)

A chat through YM triggered this entry today. I was chatting with a school mate who was alone in a hospital ward with an infection, just asking each other how things are...normal, usual stuff I guess. A friend whom courage, persistence and sense of faith I hugely admire, especially after seeing many challenges that this person had to go through during these recent years.

The conversation (after clarifying that the hospital offers good service with good handsome doctors) then somehow came to me (quite unnecessarily) telling them that several days ago I complained to another person about how I have given up on expecting from people. How the fear of unfulfilled expectations is good enough a reason for me to not expect much from the people around me.

Dear reader, know that this is not healthy and in many ways wrong, especially since all of us probably have symbiotic relations with many people, whether we like it or not.

And after complaining of this, I thought, while it is not okay to continue living like this, it is probably alright to have it as something temporary. Just  like chewing gum, temporary, fruity, minty sweetness. Fun to chew and soft and makes you look cool. Until you realize that its not sweet anymore and you have to spit it out because the feeling of it hard and dry in your mouth brings about a background discomfort that you'd rather live without, and your face depicts that of a  disagreeing subordinate, reserved and afraid of humiliation, too afraid to speak up to his superior. Which means really (back to the I'm too good by myself attitude), that you and people around you wont like it after a while.

And after complaining, this friend of mine said that maybe that's what special about believing in God (being a muslim specifically). While you are afraid that people would present to you only disappointment, God will never fail you.

And believing in God means that you believe that you are never alone, and your secrets and worries really are known by another. Which means, a secret is impossible and thus thinking on the contrary is delusional.  

In saying that there really is no such thing as a secret in this world, I believe that maybe, if we think that its impossible for us to talk to another about our secrets and concerns, we might need to think again. Because God knows! and acting like God doesn't, is just like saying you don't feel like drinking a cold glass of water in a mid, 41 degrees summer day.

And since God knows already, maybe we should share more with him. Consciously I mean. To confess and talk about our problems and ask for guidance and solutions to them openly. To lay ourselves verbally bare and naked, to let ourselves hear the truth that we are afraid of being heard, even by ourselves.

And you have the advantage of doing that whilst knowing that He probably wouldn't judge you as He knows your circumstances better than you do. And that He is in fact listening to you, even the faintest whisper in your little heart. And He'd understand, and He'd know that you are trying hard to change, and He would've heard the sorrowful cry of remorse from your heart when you'd fall into relapse.

He is Most Understanding.

So, maybe we should ask from God more frequently and more openly. Ask for everything, everywhere, all the time.

I mean, what have both of you got to lose?

"Allah the Exalted said, `O son of Adam! If you mention Me to yourself, I will mention you to Myself. If you mention Me in a gathering, I will mention you in a gathering of the angels (or said in a better gathering). If you draw closer to Me by a hand span, I will draw closer to you by forearm's length. If you draw closer to Me by a forearm's length, I will draw closer to you by an arm's length. And if you come to Me walking, I will come to you running" (The greatest man who ever lived, a long long time ago)