On what its like to be beautiful

Kalau menjerat burung kedidi,
Janganlah senja baru ke taman,
Kalau memikat idaman hati,
Janganlah rupa jadi taruhan,
Janganlah jangan rupa taruhan
(Joget Senyum Memikat, Siti Nurhaliza)

I have a confession.

It may not be the most comfortable thing for me to say this, because I think its quite atypical given the circumstances that I've been brought up in and the surroundings I've been in up till now. And I know many people who would laugh at this, or would just give a semi- hearted, confused "Ay". Actually, I think most people I know would do that.

This has something to do with my preferences in people. An attraction I guess.

I like beautiful people.

There. That's it. I've said it.

Atypical much?

Let me explain.

I have, after so many years of living understood what beauty means. The epiphany came only several weeks ago, when I was in the wards, doing student stuff. And I saw this lady. I think that she's a nurse, I couldn't remember.

She was a bit plump, a bit 'mini' and probably a mother to at least 3 children. Dark skinned, with facial features of a Maori, curly black hair, which was cut short, and a glass framed spectacles dropped low on the bridge of her nose.

She is not, I must admit, the typical beauty. That is, physically she was just ordinary, like most of us. But there were things about her that were so beautiful. I didn't know why, but I kept looking at her the whole time I was in the ward. I saw how she greeted others with a cheerful hello, how she made others laugh and how her eyes twinkled when she laughed, how she bustled around the ward huffing and puffing while humming an easy tune, how she grasped the arm of a nurse that looked devastated after the death of a patient to give comfort, how she offered that fellow nurse a cup of tea to calm her down.

And mostly, I noticed the pure, sincere smile she gave a patient who just crapped himself in bed, too tired to bother about his bowels. I saw her and I thought

"Owh God, how beautiful is this lady". And, without thought, I smiled.

And so right there, in that moment in time, I understood who beautiful people are. They are people that you would never get tired of looking at. Because their nature that is so calming, soothing and comforting.  And their nature bursts out of them like rays of light, shining the people around them. And the people around them respond to them with sincerity and honesty, with so much cheer and happiness, it showed through the shine in their eyes. 

They make smiling a reflex.

It made me understand those odd couples who people shake their heads at, saying how inappropriately matched they are. A beauty and a beast, or a prince and a hag. Generally, a set of appearances at the different extremes of the spectrum. And I then thought, just because the only thing we know about them is their appearance, it doesn't give us any right to say anything. For all we know, those hags and beasts may be more beautiful than the beauty or the prince. And have you seen them princes nowadays? Many of them are just a bunch of fat, lazy, corrupted and broken human beings. Nothing to look up to if you're lucky enough to not have to look at how high those noses are. 

And so I can't tell you what its like to be beautiful, not just yet. I don't think I make people smile on reflex. Not just yet.

But I do know some people who have that affect on me. And I believe that I'm going to find many more from now on. And when I find them, I'll learn from them. On how to be beautiful.

P/S: enjoy this music video. I think there are many beautiful people in there

Prayers for you dear reader, to be and always stay beautiful.
Azfar

“Allah does not look at your figures, nor at your attire but He looks at your hearts [and deeds].” (A man many miss even though they've never met him, several centuries ago)