The Past by yk

Hi all !

This is a blog post of a friend that I have only recently discovered. I feel quite connected to it and asked his permission to post it here so to share the post with all of you. My mate here is studying medicine at the same Uni as I am and he is also making some really really awesome music !!(reminds of me of the days when I used to listen to heaps of metal music, until the 'death grunts' in the music scared me off for good). For a treat of the awesome music I mentioned, here is the link to his myspace webpage:

ykmusic.net

To yk: thanks for this article mate! I have just omitted some of the content as I felt that some of my readers may not feel so comfortable with it. Otherwise nothing else is touched =). As I told you, the world needs more of positive minded people to spread goodness around, thanks for being one of them.

Enough of my own worthless chat, here is the article: 

Hey everyone! It's been a while but I'm back!

Sorry for leaving you for so long, I've actually been unwell for a little, but I'm finally getting better! I've returned to the recording studio to do some work on a new track, and I can already say that it's going to be very heavy. With all that is happening right now I'm hoping to get it released (as well as all of my songs to date) by the end of this year via an album release !! Thanks for supporting yk and please continue to follow our journey!

I've recently been using my blog to explore various issues, and today, I wanted to deal with none other but the past.

The PAST

If we look back on our lives, we can undoubtedly identify moments that have wounded us, events that have scarred us, and people who have left us feeling hollow and hurt. And although it is easy to complain about society, highlight flaws in the world around us, and even talk ill of those who have wronged us, this often brings us no closer to what we truly seek, which is peace, which is freedom from our past.

On Demons Behind Wheels, Under the Skin

The holidays are here.  I think it has been four weeks since the last exam and semester, which to my great relief I have passed.

One year of undergraduate medical studies to go mates !!

The prospect of working though has placed itself in a love-hate relationship spot in my heart. I love the student life and the do-everything-without-responsibility part of it but the 'everything' don’t really happen that often. I actually want to practice medicine. Its something I really look forward to doing. 

Since the four weeks of holidays in Malaysia, I have been occupied with the waiting task of a chauffeur and inevitably, the accompanying joys and pains of the job. A scene that has managed to replay itself on my windshield and side view mirrors, sadly is that of horrific driving attitudes of our fellow motorists.

Need I delve into the details of what I call 'horrific driving attitudes' and share it to all of you my respectable and very honorable readers and drivers ? I think not. If you live in urban Malaysia, you will have at any time of your life experienced first hand the swerving, butting in and the confused and confusing usage of road marker lines and indicator lights by our drivers.

Once I was stuck in a traffic  jam for 90 minutes during my adventure to pick up dear mummy from her office which is around three to five kilometers away from home. In angst and fury, I fully attributed the lengthy drive to the overwhelmingly numerous attempts of motorists who  were cutting the queues and my weak heart, full of anger eventually got tired of trying to calm myself down and putting on a fake smile and being optimistic. I didn’t really see that other things may have caused a longer than usual delay in traffic, I just firmly believed that these queue cutters were the sole reasons. And every time I turned to see the faces of these drivers, who have mastered the art of wearing the mask of indifference, I would see that these drivers are chinese, or indian, or female, or a sheikh with  a kopiah or sometimes a turban on. Seeding from this conviction and observation was then a solipsistic attitude during the final part of me being stuck in the traffic jam. Namely the over zealous acts of not letting others cut my queue, not even caring if their wives were giving birth in the car and they needed to cut the queue to get to the hospital ASAP and triggering a thought slightly tarnished with elements of racism.  Not only that, I also got quite verbal in the car, exclaiming loudly about my disappointment (using not the most appropriate of words, I must admit) towards the driving sheikhs who should by all means set a good example to other muslims and non muslims driving on the roads, and I also nearly slipped out a few curses in the presence of dear mummy who would've had the most stressful time of listening to his dear sonny saying things 'like that' after a stressful day at the office.   

Afterw

I've decided to post shallower materials from now on. What's all this serious posts business anyways? People will think I'm actually a middle aged man ready to die from cancer or something !

On Hassan, Whose First Word was 'Amir'

I read novels through my teenage years. It offered asylum from the many things I didn't like about life at the time. It offered different people to know and understand and relate to, different countries to live in, different vehicles to ride on, different feelings, different cultures, different troubles to think about, different foods to eat, different lives to live and different worlds altogether. And in most parts, these different things are much better than reality.

We knew the characters, their deepest, darkest secrets, we knew what they thought of, their struggles, their preferences, their pet-peeves, their motives and their feelings. And it wouldn't be too much of a pretense to say that we can predict them in the entirety, how they would act or how they would feel if something happens to them.

We know them by heart. We know that Harry Potter would do anything to save his friends and was the bravest boy in his school, and thus the image of an 11 year old boy going back for a girl- friend, into the haunted girl's toilet and going against a big monstrous beast with such composure is something we don't really question. Neither were Artemis Fowl applying cryogenic science to delay the death of his bodyguard, nor Alex Rider who got into his uncle's office through the outside window of the however many storied office building. Or Hassan whose first word was 'Amir' or Charlotte Doyle, a 13 year old girl who joined a pirate crew. We take it as truth because we know them.

Our books became witnesses. The pages absorbed our tears when our characters cried, they saw how our lips curved into uncontrollable smiles, too hard to suppress when our characters win or found redemption, they felt our breaths quicken when our characters had to run on the way to the rendezvous.  Such power these stories and characters have on us. No wonder we feel so connected to them!

Upper class English lass turned pirate...Really...~

2 things I would like to point out. The first is that these characters only belong in novels. As much as we would like someone on the face of this huge earth to actually be like them, we need to understand they are simply fictional.

Why do I make this point in the first place? Its because throughout my reading, I have fallen into the trap of thinking that they are indeed possible. That these characters are alive in the people around me. And so I look to find perfection and such characters in the people that I know. I looked out for Atticus Finch and Hassan. Reepicheep and Samwise. And when real people fail to meet my expectations of perfect courage or standing firm on their principles, or acting out on the pure basis of friendship and love, I feel disappointed. But it's with great relief that in recent years I have come to accept the realities of life. That there are always real things that people worry about and real, practical (and totally boring) reactions of people towards a situation. And hurtful it may be, it has made accepting human flaws easier for myself.

Sarah Kay on Long Distance Relationships

 If my heart was a compass you'd be north

Risk it all cause I'll catch you when you fall

Wherever you go

If my heart was a house

You'd be home

(If My Heart Was A House, Owl City)

Here's to those who are shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, arms to hold and hearts to feel. Here's to them who are safety nets to catch, bent knees to step on, lifeboats to save, music boxes to sing with, soul to understand and voices to hear back so you know you're still alive. 

To everyone of you who have always been there for someone, whoever you are, wherever you may be. Here is to you. 

Why long distance relationships? Because many times I feel that we are always in long distance relationships with people, even when we are so close to each other that our elbows touch. That there's never enough time and never enough space to say and fit feelings into our conversations, to ever really get to know each other, to ever really touch each others hearts. And thus we never really get to be that person that's there for someone else.So far away, wherever we are.

But anyways, to all of you who have been there for someone, thank you. For I believe being able to return and fall back to someone, to seek refuge and temporary peace in whatever situation, is one of the greatest gifts from God to humanity, and you help to make it happen.


Jazakallah
Azfar

Malaysian Night. Why my heart ached.

Last night, the annual Malaysian Night hosted by the Malaysian club MYSUN was held in a club in Newcastle City.

Alia reciting a poem about Independence

Despite my horrible appetite and ongoing tummy cramps, we made it through alright. There were lots of food, performances and what not all night. Overall, things were good.

However while sitting in the front table, trying to eat something to chase this gastro away (does that even work scientifically?), several things intrigued me.

Abang Mizan aka my Silat teacher. Cool or what?

Firstly, what the emcees called 'history classes'. While waiting for things to be set up, the emcees would sometimes state some historical facts about Malaysian independence. The recurrent theme that I managed to pick up was about colonisation, by one power after the next. Malaysia was colonized by the portugese, then the dutch and the brits and the japs.... Gee...I thought that was just heart breaking. That we were there telling some ten percent of the audience that our country was a ball in the air, punched and kicked and rolled around by people. True that was. It is historical fact, I shall not argue. But to me, listening to all that through the voices of the emcees whom have no choice but to state it cheerfully is just, again, heart breaking. And I asked myself, confused and wondering, where is the patriotism in that?

Apek on the band 'Tragic Affair'

Why dont we talk about the struggle for independence instead? To cherish people who have made it possible? To appreciate them and acknowledge the fact that what they did finally brought us free from the brits after hundreds of years of colonization of land and mind? And to state that the fight for independence was bloodless? So what was it that flowed from the veins of the Warriors of Malacca, Dato' Maharajalela, Tok Gajah, Tok Janggut and thousands more, be it Malay, Indian or Chinese when they were shot and stabbed by these colonizers? Are we trying to paint a politically beautiful, peaceful history at the cost of the honor of these men and women who gave their lives trying to protect the land that was dear to them? Is this the way we honour our forefathers?

Maybe a great thing to do is to get to know these patriots personally, to know what makes them the patriots they were, what gave them the strength to make the ultimate sacrifice for their country and learn from them.     

Awesome performance! 

Secondly, to the agreement of some of my collegues, none of them Malay and one of them not a Malaysian, some of the performances weren't really Malaysian culture at all. The girls doing the chinese dance actually said its not chinese (to which i think i understand), rather it was just a fan (like chinese fans) dance. And again, it gets me thinking, if the objective of Malaysian night is to showcase malaysian culture, are some of these things that we do correlate well with what we say? What is the point in this then? I'm not criticizing my friends who put in a lot of effort into their performances, i mean, what they did were great! Especially the Indian dance, but I would like to enjoin us to think about what we do. And learn.

What we do, must be consistent with what we say. Especially when we are representing a whole lot of people to the world. If we want to celebrate independence, to celebrate diversity in a multicultural land, we should then talk about independence, about revolutions, about lessons we can learn from being colonized, about what its like to live in racial and religious harmony and how Australia can learn from what we do back home. Yes, many people want to see dances, many people want to cheer and laugh and have a good time, but is that what our independence and our culture is all about? Dancing? Singing songs that dont even potray our independence and multiculturalism and showing fighting moves? Are we that shallow of a people? Is this shallowness what we, a percentage of the most well educated people from the country are proud about?

Hiyak hiyak hiyak!!!

Think, people, think! You are intelligent people.

Why dont we have a deeper Malaysian night next time? One thats about revolutions. Revolution of mind, of language, of culture, of religious tolerance, of harmony, of economics, of science. We don't have to abandon the great performances, but we can certainly educate ourselves more and other people about the greatness of Malaysia. Lets do a play, about aspirations of young Malaysians, of how we want the future to be, of how we want to be liberated from the clutches of negative foreign influences, of how we want to, together build a better Malaysia for all. Integrated, harmonized, peaceful, understanding.

I'd risk sounding ideal and unreal, but isnt this what we want? Isnt this patriotism? Isnt this what we mean when we say we love our country? 

We should love Malaysia as much as Aryzz loves to put the Malaysian flag into his mouth!

Salam perpaduan, salam cinta Malaysia!
Azfar 

Credits to Ahmad Syafiq Akbar Ali, the photographer who allowed me to post these photos up. To see more of his work, go http://www.facebook.com/ahmadsyafiq . Thank you bro! This is my most colourful post ever!

Syeikh Navaid Aziz on Welcoming You to His Paradise

Just a quick post of a hand held, dodgy looking video (excellent audio quality though) of a quite popular speaker from Canada. My friends and I saw him on a tour last month, after a split second decision to go to Sydney that night to catch this guy, Boona Mohamed (popular for spoken word) and Baba Ali (stand up comedian) all together in 'the Strangers Tour'.


During his talk he said that, maybe, many of us dont work so hard to attain paradise because we stopped contemplating about it. And so he said sometimes, when life gets too tough, he'd like to escape into his future paradise for respite and renewal of his energy. So have a listen, and let your imagination run wild...!

Owh I just realized that this video didnt go further into the gates of his paradise. Well from what i can remember, there was talks of chocolate rivers, chocolate boat, fish waiting to be caught and a mild sun that always shines to the best, moderate temperatures...literally soaking it in....Aaahhh.... But that is his paradise.

The question is: How's your paradise going to be like?

Best regards
Azfar